Tuesday, November 10, 2009

a little validation

One of the main ideas that I took away from the conference I attended the last 3 days is the need all human beings have to feel validated. So many mental health issues stem from feelings of unworthiness and shame. All people want and need to know they are cared for, they are special, they have been heard and understood, and they are important. Helping others feel validated isn't all that difficult of a task. I know, however, too often in our busy lives we neglect to validate those who mean the most to us. Here are a few simple ways to help validate those who are important to you:

*Listen to them without judgment or advice giving.
*Say, "Thank you for being you." (and mean it)
*Say, "I love you." (and mean it)
*Say, "You are smart, beautiful, and talented." (and mean it)
*Spend quality time with them.
*Focus on their strengths.
*Appreciate their unique talents.
*Make sure they know, without a doubt, they are not alone in the world.



Mahi said...

I love this post. I attended a seminar yesterday that spoke about the exact same thing. This is so simple but it seams to be the one thing we have most trouble with. Thank you for this post.

mary-jo said...

i somehow found your blog and love it. your insights on life are beautiful and your yoga inspired posts encourage me to get some yoga in regularly. i also love your book recs, as i have gone out and gotten a few you've posted. all that to say i've been here awhile and thank you...

validating others is something i'm trying to do. i think i did it well without thinking about it, but now that i have two children, it's something that is constantly on the forefront of my mind. all we all want is to be loved...

anyway, something i've noticed lately about validating others (children, adults, family members, strangers, etc) is that i feel somewhat validated by these experiences, also. i don't know if it makes any sense, but when i validate others, i feel myself recognizing i am the person i want to be, others hear me and understand me as well. i can't really explain it, but i know that validating others and really trying to understand where someone else is coming from opens me up to receive things for myself and gives me an inner sense of validation.

it may not be very eloquently said, but i wholeheartedly agree validation is powerful for all those involved.

thank you for your posts and i hope you have a great weekend!!

Yogadiva said...

Mahi--You are so right-validating others is simple but something many of us struggle with.

Mary-jo--So glad you found my blog and left a comment! Also glad to hear you've loved some of my book recs. People can have such different tastes about books, I often wonder if other people end up enjoying them as much as I do. You are so right about how validating others ends up validating ourselves just as much if not more so. The more positve energy we can spread the better the whole world will be!