the "M" word

As a child, my family didn't have a lot of money. Don't get me wrong: we had a small, but nice home, and clothing, and there was always food on the table, but there wasn't a lot of money left after the bills were paid. My father was an educator and my mother had a few different jobs including working in a flower shop & secretarial/clerical work. They both had a strong work ethic and worked incredibly hard. I know they did their best to provide for me and my younger brother. However, I remember more than one time as a child feeling sick and dreading telling my parents because I knew we didn't have money for doctor bills and medication. I also remember visiting my aunts and uncles, who lived out of town, and seeing them with their Honda and Toyota cars, and thinking how it would be so nice if one day my dad drove a car like that rather than his old, beat up Omni. I am now starting to realize how much of my outlook on money today goes back to my childhood experiences, & how many of my beliefs about money are completely false.

This afternoon, I started reading a new book, Harmonic Wealth by James Author Ray, and I had a very big "ah ha" moment: Probably the most detrimental & faulty fundamental belief I realize I carry about money is the idea that one cannot be financially wealthy and a spiritual person. Money was bad, and I wanted to be good, so I shouldn't desire it. These ideas were somehow ingrained in me growing up. My parents didn't say this to me, but this is most definitely the message I received. I'm sure Bible verses such as "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God" (Matthew 19:24) did not help. I decided at a very young age that spirituality was much more important to me than financial wealth, and I didn't realize that perhaps you could have both.

I am not exaclty sure how I will be able to build financial wealth (especially because my husband and I are both educators); however, I do know I am going to start working very hard at getting the idea that money is bad and truly spiritual and good people can't have it out of my head--otherwise I am destined to never have an abundance of money. Even as I write this, I feel a bit bad that I would want an abundance of money--once again going back to that belief that desiring money is an "unspiritual" endeavor.

So, this will be my new mantra: I can be financially wealthy and spiritually connected. I can be financially wealthy and spritually connected. I can be financially wealthy and spiritually connected. (I'm going to have to repeat this one a lot, as I know I have many years of wrong thinking deeply ingrained!)

Wish me luck on this endeavor & any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated!

Namaste'
Leslie